Thursday, August 21, 2008

Confessions of my childhood!

Nowadays when I pray out to the master of universe with that long list of my unfulfilled dreams and unattended requests which have'nt been answered for a long time, I recall my first written correspondence with my lord and I really don't have the courage to confess it before my mom till date.

Today, I take the courage of confessing the same with a hope of making the readers smile amidst their hectic schedules and stressful life.

It happened a day before when I was about to complete 9 years on 3rd of June, 1984 AD. I knew it was high time that I should remind my mom that I have been asking for a bike this birthday and she should make sure that I get my birthday gift. I rushed to the kitchen where mom was pampering the dough with her caring fingers and I reminded her of my heartly desire.

She smiled and said "Anu, I think you should ask God for your birthday gift and if you really have been a good boy throughout the last year, I am sure Lord Jesus will surely bless you with your heartly desire."

I went up the room and thought of corresponding to my creator. I lit the study lamp and excitingly took my notepad and pencil to draft my request note.

Dear God,
I have been a good boy through out last year and I request you to bless me with a red colour bycycle on this birthday.
thanks
yours
anil john

The letter couldn't make me smile because I knew that the letter is really not going to fetch me my birthday present. I knew I wasn't a good boy as my younger brother. I was a brat, disobedient and a troublesome character to each and everyone around me.

With a sad sigh, I tore off the letter and started afresh;

Dear God,
I know I haven't been a good boy like sunu, but yeah, I was ok.
I request you to bless me with a red bycycle this birthday.
Please grant.
Thanks
anil john

Grieved still, I knew even the word ok in the redrafted letter won't let the Lord be merciful to me. With a deep apologetic grief , I tore the letter off and switched off the study lamp and slowly came out of my room to seek my mom.

Slowly and disappointed of my own self, I held mom's arms and said with tears in my eyes that I think I want to go to church all alone. Mom smiled and was contented that her trick worked and now anu will surely ask for forgiveness and will behave like a good boy for the years to come. Now she can have really have a break from his nuisances and the neighbourhood and school complaints.

A few minutes later, I was walking all alone towards the church, I walked in and went near the altar. I went on knees and made sure that noone was watching me going on knees; noone around, it was pin-drop silence and there was so much of peace and tranquility out there; I took the small idol of mother Mary from the altar and slipped it inside my tshirt and ran out of the church.

I kept running breathlessly and rushed towards my home and then my room,
and my study table,

Dear God,
I know that I have'nt been a good boy at all in the last year and I really can't do anything about what I have done but I really need a red bicycle on this birthday. You better gift it to me without fail as I have kidnapped your mother now.
with apologies,
anil john

7 comments:

Mystique said...

haha!!

ok questions....
is this blog for actual true confessions?
and how do i get a post out here?

Anonymous said...

this is a forwarded joke mail. I never knew this kind of famous and popular funny forwards can be posted here. I've plenty of similar stuffs.

Unknown said...

All reader can now be convinced that this whole confession thing is such a ridiculous joke. OMG, how could you even post this without (re)searching properly. I have received this umpteen no of times as a fwd email, and whoever sent this is a true prankster. But the person who actually posted this (eM???) is the biggest fool of all. prv, pls pls send all the similar stupid fwd emails to admin@penguin whatever email. All will be posted here, and you can get 100s of copies of the book for free! he he..

Salil said...

Thats sad ... such an old beat up joke posted as a confession come on you can be more creativesgaa

Guy said...

We provided this blog as a platform for people to send us their true confessions. Unfortunately from your comments it appears this post is a joke email, and not a real-life story.

Having not been in India for long and never received the joke email before, I had no reason to think it might be a fabrication and found it to be an amusing confession that I thought other people might want to read.

Thanks for bringing this to our attention.

Penguin

Anonymous said...

now this certainly isn't true...i have read the some story before. though it makes for a good read it certainly doesn't go with the idea of this blog.

Anonymous said...

All said and done, I loved the 'confession'(!)... however fake a story it mite be.